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Relationship sucks. Yes, it is when you’re fighting with your partner. Sometimes fights make me forget about how romantic you are, how kind you are, how gentle you are, and everything.

Maybe I shouldn’t tell you that you made me disappointed. Maybe I should forget it, cover all your weakness with your kindness. Maybe I should try to wear a mask. Maybe I shouldn’t do anything. Maybe. Or, maybe i should keep silent, watch my mouth.

I did hurt you again, I did disappoint you again. This is not the first time. And maybe this time is different, you won’t come back again, you won’t be the same again because you said so.

You always ask me, whether you’re not really important for me, whether your kindness are bullshit for me. Did i say so?

Yes I’m wondering you everyday, everynight, everytime I wake up as you know. Even when i did the psychotest, i taught about you. I’m crazy in love with you.

I know that I’m wrong. I apologized to you, but you didn’t reply me. I did a really bad mistake.

Maybe tomorrow there’s no one who walk me home again, there’s no one who want to listen every single word that i said, there’s no one who can be my mood booster again, there’s no one who accompany me with my autism, I will be forever alone. (sedih amat).

I miss us.

Sorry is the best word that I can give to you. I know maybe that just not enough for you, for all that you’ve done for me, your kindness, but i didn’t response all of of it nicely.

I warned you before, that I’m not as perfect as you thought. And, when you know the truth you felt betrayed. The same as my feeling. Maybe you shouldn’t trust me before. Maybe you deserve more.

You said that you won’t believe me again. I deserve it.

I just don’t know what to do. I’m a mess.